What do you do when you see a love you’ve lost?

A little over a year ago I lost my job, it was a great job, and I worked with people that I mostly liked. I was relieved the day it happened. It was like a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. But there was still a sadness to it that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Then it hit me, losing my job was like losing my boyfriend. In the beginning, I couldn’t wait to get rid of him, but now I missed him, and I missed the friends that we shared.

Our breakup wasn’t ugly or loud or violent. It was quiet. It was the type where both of us knew it was time because we had drifted apart. We were holding each other back, but neither one of us wanted to admit it. I knew that he no longer fulfilled me. I had stopped growing, and I no longer found comfort in his arms. My eyes started to wander, and my heart wanted to know what else was out there. Could I be happier with a new boyfriend? But instead of talking with him, I started talking with his friends. I started telling them how unhappy I was and that I was going to leave him. And then it just happened, I found comfort in the arms of another, and it was love at first sight. We would be up until the wee hours of the morning. I would think about him every hour of the day he was my first thought when I woke up and the last one before I went to bed. I would focus all my attention on him for 12-15 hours straight. I would only stop to shower or eat. All I could do was dream about us and tell stories about our future together. My boyfriend had no idea where I had gone. It was like I had become a different person and vanished overnight.

My boyfriend wasn’t a jealous lover, but he knew he deserved better. He knew he deserved the love of someone who would love him back. He wanted 100% of my attention and I just didn’t have it to give. I had found the love of my life and I wasn’t willing to give it up … not even for him. I had found the love of writing, and nothing would ever be the same again.

About a month before the “break up,” I remember meeting with him and telling him that it wasn’t working and that I would stay as long as he needed me to. Looking back at it now, I think “how arrogant was I to think that he needed me and that I needed to let him down easy.”

Over the six years that we had been together we had always been upfront with one another. It was part of what made us work. So, when he walked in that fateful day, I knew that it was the end. He didn’t even have to say a word. I know that was the last day we would be together. But my pride was hurt, I thought

“How could you break up with me…I was going to break up with you! How could you push me aside when I thought you needed me to stand up?”

But that was just it, we had both grown. We had become strong and could stand on our own. Together we had become better for knowing one another, but it was time for us to be apart. Our season was over, and it was time for a new story to begin.

Yesterday, I saw my old work friends and immediately it brought me back to a year ago and that day that we “broke up.” I was sad because I missed them. But when I got home, I realized that our season had passed and that I needed to be thankful for it and move on. In the end, it was the only way I would become the person God always intended me to be.

Appreciate your past, be evergreen, ever loving, and ever learning today and everyday forward. Life is short remember the good times and good people that you have met and loved along the way.

~ The End & New Beginning ~

We all have stories to tell, but some of us have a burning desire to write them down and share them with the world. I understand that desire and how scary it can be. When I decided to write and teach others how to share their stories, it scared me to death. But today, I am so grateful for the journey. My life has changed 100% for the better and so can yours.

If you are interested in telling your story and sharing it with the world, CLICK HERE for amazing free tools to get you started. There are a ton of great ideas to get you on the road to becoming the storyteller you never knew you were meant to be.

If you would like more, you can visit my website at Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

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Negative people SUCK!

Today is a beautiful day in Southern California. It’s 90 degrees, there is a light breeze, and my son is back in school. (Thank You, JESUS!) I got my work done early and was feeling inspired to write.  So, I went to my favorite place, the Mission Inn Hotel & Spa. The Mission Inn is a landmark rich in history with beautiful architecture. The flowers this time of year are in bloom and the grounds are breathtaking.

My first stop is always the spa and my favorite place inside is the back lounge. There is a faux fireplace with an antique-looking mantel that always has sweet treats. Above it are two shell-shaped sconces that split a watercolor painting of a spring running through a forest. The only other light is a crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. The spa reminds me of something I think you would see in Venice, Italy (but I’ve never been so I don’t really know) with marble floors and wall to wall antique-looking flower-laden rugs. The receptionist offers each guest a drink menu which includes champagne and a dark chocolate truffle. This spa is where you go when you want to be treated like a queen.

My second stop during the warmer months is the pool. The water is usually 83 degrees and the foliage smells like eucalyptus. It’s truly my happy place. Today however was a little bit different. I must have looked particularly friendly because I was approached by two seemingly harmless ladies. You can always tell when someone is itching to talk to you because they get closer and closer to you even though you have not moved a muscle.

One of the women was in her sixties she was in great shape, her skin had a deep slightly orangish tint, and her hair looked freshly permed (her curls were pulled up in a red scrunchie so that it wouldn’t get wet). We smiled and she asked me how I liked the weather.

I should have run right then.

The second women had a mocha complexion, was in her forties and was wearing a black low cut 1-piece swimsuit. Her hair was in pigtails and she had crazy written all over her. And still, I let them suck me into their vortex.

As soon as Red Scrunchie opened up the conversation, Pigtails got all up in my personal space and started asking me fifty questions.

“Hi, what’s your name? Are you here for a conference? Where do you live? What do you do? Do you like my pigtails?”

I really should have swum away.

I proceeded to tell them my name, that I was visiting for rest and relaxation and that I was a writer/speaker. I told them that I was gearing up for my second book…Pigtails let me have it.

“I hate when people call themselves writers when they’ve only written one book. They don’t have a clue on how to REALLY write. My friend wrote a book in college that came close to being a bestseller she had a ton of support. She had a writing coach, people offered to help her edit, and she had an unlimited budget. But when she tried to write the second one on her own, it was terrible. Just because you publish a book doesn’t mean you’re a writer. That is why I’m waiting to write my book. I want to make sure my book is GOOD. If you think you are going to make a living at being an author, then you are crazy. Writer’s don’t make any money!”

Finally, this was my cue. I politely told Pigtails that she was absolutely right. And I actually meant it. She was right, in most instances, people write the story that they have been itching to get out for years. Most often, your first book is more about you than your audience. It helps you heal or tell that story that you always wanted to tell. But what most of us fail to do is research what will sell in the marketplace because the first book most often is not about the money. It’s about the experience, it’s about the message and it’s about the healing. If you’re waiting to write the perfect book, then I’m sorry to tell you that you will never write it and you will be part of the 95 percentile of people that start a book that they never end up finishing.

That shut her up.

Pigtails had the nerve to look at me like I was crazy. She rolled her eyes and swam away. Red Scrunchie and I made eye contact, smiled, and bid each other adieu.

The thing with negative people is that they can only bring you down if you let them. But when you take their power away, they swim off to find someone else to depress.

Life is short, don’t let negative people suck your joy away.

I hope that you found another reason to love life. If you would like more, you can visit my website at or click here to check out my weekly podcast.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, as a bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey.

As an added bonus I have included a link to a FREE sample of my award-winning book Hidden Treasure. Click Here to download your free copy today.

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

Negative people SUCK! Read More »

In The End It’s All Worth It

It’s Sunday, and my husband and I were up until 4 am “discussing” our marriage and the things that it seems to be lacking.  Troy’s issues, I don’t dress sexy enough, I don’t see and/or appreciate how hard he works, and I never do the laundry. The last one is totally…my bad. My issues, he is too moody, he expects me to read his ever-changing mind, and no matter what I do, it’s not good enough. Toward the crescendo of our “discussion,” we were both wondering if the passion for one another had left and somehow, we hadn’t noticed until just then. At this point, it would have been easy to shut down, turn the lights off and roll over to our respective sides of the bed. But we didn’t do that we kept on pushing. And something amazing happened, when it felt like our conversation couldn’t get any darker, a crack of light came to the surface.

Much too often it’s the little things, the unsaid words that do us in…that is, if we let them.

Eight months ago, I was fired from my well-paid job and ever since Troy had been caring 90% of our household bills. This was stressful and a strain on our marriage. Troy had given me the space to follow my dream of being an author and motivational speaker. Which had come at the expense of building his own business and was way outside of his comfort zone. In my mind, I thought it would be an easy transition. I had written an amazing book and when it was published, I knew that people would run to the stores to buy it. They would be beating down my door to speak at their events. All I had to do was put my book on Amazon, right?

Wrong, being an author much like being an entrepreneur means that you have to learn to be at peace with being uncomfortable, with uncertainty, with the hope that what your putting out in the world will not only be well received but will also be well monetized.  Then like it often does, reality hits and you discover that the road to success is HARD AGONIZING WORK that doesn’t come quickly. It takes studying, organization, strategy and capital. It takes never giving up and not accepting that VP of Marketing corporate job even when everything in you is screaming.


Taking the job would be so much easier. But then God starts to give you signs and small things start to happen, and you start to see that people are connecting with your work, that people are starting to purchase your book and contract you to speak. That the book you were scared to show anyone begins winning awards and all at once you start thinking,


That was the discussion Troy and I had in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe we could do this. Maybe we could work through our issues. When we finally got down to brass tacks, his big fear was that he was going to disappoint me. My fear was that all the sacrifice we had made was going to be for nothing. That I would lose my best friend and my dreams all in one swoop. Why does it take all of the bullshit to finally get to the beauty? What we were “discussing” at first had nothing to do with what was really going on. We both needed to know that the other person saw us, accepted us and would love us no matter what.

Ding, Ding, Ding…that was it, we could do that and now we could finally go to sleep. Thank You Jesus!

Eight hours later, I was at the Auto Club Speedway watching my husband work on my eight-year-old son’s go-kart. Seeing them work together to achieve a common goal was truly (no pun intended since our son’s name is Truly) what life was all about. This very scene was my definition of happiness and togetherness. Even in hundred-degree weather with my son driving go-karts at 60 miles per hour, getting a penalty, crying and starting the main event 5th. The day ended with a second-place finish, hugs and huge smiles. I couldn’t have asked for more. To some, this may sound like 24 hours of hell, but to me it sounds like a life totally worth living. Sometimes you have to wade on the smelly side of life in order to appreciate the sweet smell of success.

I hope that you found another reason to love life. If you would like more, you can visit my website at or check out my weekly podcast by clicking here.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, as a bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey.

As an add bonus I have include a link to a FREE sample of my award-winning book Hidden Treasure. Click Here to download your free copy today. h

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

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3 Ways To Treasure Life’s Moments

Over the last two years, my life has changed so much that I almost don’t even recognize it. Just three months ago I was the Vice President of Marketing at a 1.3-billion-dollar credit union in Southern California, and now I am a full-time mom, wife, and entrepreneur. My life is full of treasures some of which have been easy to spot. Like the fact that I am healthy and cancer-free. If you got to know me, you would not believe who I’ve become. I am happy, I love my life (as unconventional as it may be) and every day I think of three things that I am grateful for.

My life is a treasure

May 3, 2016, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and my life was forever changed. Once I had completed my treatments, I found myself looking around trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next. I would tell my husband how unhappy I was but that I didn’t know why. It was hard for me to feel grateful even though I know deep down that I should be. During my year of chemotherapy treatments, I remember my girlfriend Felicia asking me how I was doing, and when I answered I decided that I wasn’t going to sugarcoat my feelings.

I told her “I’m doing BAD! I feel horrible, I’m fluffy in all the wrong places and to top it off no part of me is ever in the mood…for anything.”

Every word I said was negative and matched how I was feeling on the inside. Felecia told me that I wasn’t going to feel better until I found reasons to feel better. She said that I had to start being grateful and proclaiming to the world what I was grateful for. She told me that no matter what my mood was that I was the one who controlled it and then she politely got off the phone. Did she have a point?

What was I grateful for?

Yes, she absolutely did. That next morning, I got out of bed still thinking about what she had said the day before. I went into the bathroom and took a little extra time to get the water just right. I added three drops of eucalyptus oil to my shower and I decided to put her theory to the test. I stepped into the warm, welcoming mist and let the water softly massage my head. I closed my eyes and inhaled the relaxing aroma. As I exhaled, I pushed out the constant chattering of my internal thoughts. I took control over my mind and peacefully took in the experience. After about 30 seconds of quiet, I began to talk. “The water feels so good on my head” was the first thing that I said, but I knew I needed to go deeper,

“I am so grateful for how wonderful the water feels on my head…Thank you.”

“I am grateful that we have a house, good food to eat and that ice cream still tastes good…Thank you.”

“I am grateful for how well my husband, son, and mom have taken care of me…Thank you.”

At that moment I saw firsthand how being grateful and saying the words aloud changed my mood and lifted my spirits. I didn’t need to go shopping or run a mile (which I couldn’t have done anyway) or eat half a bag of chips (okay let’s be honest, a whole bag of chips) I just needed to slow down and be grateful. So, you have probably already guessed the #1 way to find the treasures in your life.

 #1 Be grateful for what you have.

Take 1 minute out of your day and say (out loud) three things that you are grateful for.

The next way to find the treasures in your life is to look in unlikely places. Three months ago I was terminated from my job. YES, terminated. I could have said separated, let go, laid off but when it all boils down, I was FIRED. My boss and HR walked into my office and told me that my job performance was not up to par and that regrettably I was being let go. They said I didn’t have to go home, but I couldn’t stay there. (Okay, I added the last part) I was devastated how could they fire me. It was like when your boyfriend breaks up with you, and you are so hurt and heartbroken, but deep down you knew you should have left him months ago.

#2 Recognize that loss needs to happen for growth to occur.

Think back to a time that you were devasted by a loss. It could have been losing a job, getting passed over for a promotion or being dumped. The treasure comes in learning how to mourn the loss and being thankful for the lessons you were taught from the experience. Once you give yourself time to heal you will be able to move on and move up to what life has in store for you. Some treasures come from the beauty in life, but others come from the harsh reality and pain of life.

Finally, the last point on this short list is to treat every day like a treasure. Remember there is beauty around every corner and that the pain of today will look different in tomorrow’s light.

 #3 Tomorrow is a new day.

Today’s Hidden Treasure Moment is that life can sometimes bring us pain and sorrow. Growth comes in our ability to find the treasure in it all even in the moments that bring us pain.

I hope that you found another reason to love life. If you would like more, you can visit my website at or check out my weekly podcast at

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, as an added bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

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5 Travel Hacks for Families

I love the thought of traveling but I must admit in this day and age it is a little scary to travel outside of the United States. So this blog covers five basic travel hacks for families traveling to distant or not so distant lands.

When you think about action-packed movies of traveling overseas the thought conjures up Americans being insulted, taken advantage of and robbed by rude foreigners. One word proves my point…TAKEN. For me, these images were enough reason to keep me from traveling to Paris. A trip that was at the top of my bucket list for the last ten years. Finally, I decided that enough was enough. I wasn’t going to let my fear control my life, so I planned a trip for my family and I to go to France. Once there, I was shocked by what I discovered. My preconceived notions of how I thought we would be treated couldn’t have been further from the truth. I quickly realized that being aware of your surroundings, courteous to others and allowing for some flexibility in your schedule goes a long way…in any land.

My husband is a driver development coach who works for professional race car drivers and travels all over the world. This year he has had the privilege to travel to Sweden, Norway, London, France, Canada, and South Africa and has discovered a few travel hacks that have helped to make his trips a little less stressful. Like I mentioned earlier the travel bug spilled over and as a family, we traveled to Hawaii, Turks & Caicos and France. My hope is that the travel hacks below will give you some piece of mind and will inspire you to start planning your own trips to distant lands.

Listed below are the five major travel hack categories.


Know what documents you will need for the country you are traveling to.

  • Passport: When traveling outside of the United States, every member of your family will need a passport.
  • Trusted Traveler Program:

Travel Hack #1: If you travel often then you might think about enrolling in the Trusted Travel program and applying for Global Entry

The major benefit is that you skip the customs line when coming back into the United States. Just make sure you get one for every person in your family. If you have a Platinum American Express, they will reimburse the fees for the primary cardholder. Either way its $100 for each completed application.

  • Visa: Research if the country you are traveling to will require you to obtain additional travel documents. If you find that your destination requires a visa, check and see if they will issue one upon arrival.  You may want to consider applying for one in advance just to be on the safe side. It will save you time and unnecessary frustration to have your visa in hand before your trip begins.

Air Travel

Know what you should and should not bring on the plane when traveling long distances.

My family lives in California, so our trip was a little over ten hours to go to France and about eleven and a half hours to come back. When traveling with the family there a few things that you are going to want to do.

Travel Hack #2: Bring meals with you on the plan because the food is usually awful.

Bring noise canceling headphones with an airplane adapter for the in-plane entertainment and to help you drown out crying babies. Download your favorite movies, games, and books. Pack your phone, tablet and laptop charger in your carry-on because most international flights have a power outlet on each seat of the plane. Bring things for the kids to do that can be confined to small spaces. Like UNO, Battleship, and coloring books.

I brought a rubber band bracelet making kit which was a very bad idea. There were way too many pieces, and we lost the crochet needle 30 minutes into the ten-hour flight. Make sure you bring the 4oz bottle of kids Benadryl…don’t judge me. Pack slippers or flip-flops because you will want to take off your shoes. You don’t want to go into the bathroom barefoot. Trust me!!! A word of advice, bring a toothbrush and toothpaste because after ten plus hours your breath will not be so fresh. Your family will thank you for thinking ahead… Okay, “thank you” might be a reach but do it anyway.

To Rent A Car or Not To Rent A Car

More often than not our family rents a car when we are traveling abroad. The exception is when we are booked at an all-inclusive resort because you mostly stay on the property. But that is typically the only reason why we wouldn’t get our own transportation. When traveling abroad, you want to familiarize yourself with the laws and traffic signs.

Travel Hack #3: I have found that it is pretty cheap to rent the car, but the expense comes when you get the insurance which I would always recommend doing.

You can call your insurance carrier, get it at the rental car company or check with your credit card company to see if they offer car rental insurance. While in Paris we rented a car for eight days. The car cost under $200 and the insurance was $1,200. Paris had roundabouts that were 6 lanes across and no one ever seemed to slow down to let you in or out.  People drove absolutely crazy in the city so having insurance gave us a little less spending money but peace of mind.

Things to Do

As a family decide if you want your trip to be leisurely or planned out. Think about if there are sights that you must see. If you choose the later do your research and plan ahead. Know the time and days that the venue opens and closes. If they allow flash photography, if they translate their materials and provide audio tours. (Most museums do this) I usually wait to buy the tickets until we have arrived in the city unless there is a chance they might sell out.

Travel Hack #4: Download the google translator app on your phone. It saved us on more than one occasion when we were traveling through the countryside and couldn’t find anyone who spoke English. I left my phone at the hotel one night when we went to a restaurant. I thought I was ordering pasta for dinner and was surprised when the waiter brought out a fancy plate of watermelon.

How to Protect Yourself and Your Money

Travel Hack #5: Use credit cards, minimize the cash you carry, make copies of your passport, utilize the hotel safe and always be aware of your surroundings.

We have never had an issue with pickpockets (knock on wood) but to be on the safe side, I would suggest using a money pouch that you can pin inside your bra or pocket. For men buy a cheap wallet that you can use for just the necessities and don’t put it in your back pocket. If a stranger seems to be getting a little too friendly check for your wallet and your watch.

I’m just saying…

These are five simple hacks for traveling abroad. If you have always dreamt of going to another country or exotic land start planning your trip today. Don’t wait until tomorrow to live the life we want today.

Today’s Hidden Treasure Moment is that life is short!  See and do as much as you can and appreciate every minute of the journey.

I hope that you found another reason to love life. If you would like more, you can purchase my book for a special discounted price by clicking here. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog as an added bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey.

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

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Are You Living an Empowered or Imprisoned Life?

Are you living an empowered or imprisoned life? The questions below are designed to make you think about your life. As a result, they will leave you asking yourself,

“Am I making decisions that move me closer to living in my purpose? Is my life really mine or has my time, my hopes and my dreams been imprisoned by someone or something else? “

You will evaluate what is truly important, and you will begin to take steps to live your best, most glorious, empowered and magnificent life.  Because of this blog I asked myself the questions below and was surprised by some of my own answers.

Are You Empowered or Imprisoned? Take the next few minutes to answer the five questions below.

1. Does your job, house or car define who you are? Would you lose your identity without these things?

2. Does the thought of taking a day off on a Tuesday and going to the spa, movies or just doing nothing at home seem inconceivable? But at the same time makes you a bit sad because you should be able to take a day off without it seeming inconceivable? Is your first thought “how could I possibly take time off when I have so much to do?” Do you have so many people who depend on you doing SOMETHING that no one else but you could possibly do? Do you brush off the thought of taking a day off for yourself because…

“What’s the point, I’d just spend the entire time feeling guilty, thinking about work or cleaning the house.”

3. Does your scale in the bathroom dictate your mood and how you feel about yourself? When you step on the scale (after depriving yourself from anything that tastes good and working out like you are getting ready for the Olympics) tell you if you have been good or bad? Does your weight leave you depressed and feeling like a failure because you find yourself losing the same 10 pounds over and over again? Do you find yourself saying…

“I have no self-discipline? What’s the point in watching what I eat when the second I eat something I like I gain 5 pounds… which took me two weeks to take off!!!”

4. Do you take care of yourself after you take care of everyone else?  Do you make caring for yourself and showing yourself love your last priority?

5. If you were to die tomorrow would you have regrets? Would you regret not working hard enough, not climbing the ladder high enough and not being available enough? Or, would you regret not getting to know your kids more, not kissing your partner more and not doing more of the things that are on your bucket list?

If you answered “yes” to three or more of the empowered or imprisoned questions above, then the empowerment you seek might feel more like a prison of self-doubt and anxiety. I asked myself these very same questions, and I wondered why it was so hard for me to switch how I thought. Especially when my old way of thinking wasn’t serving my best interest. I knew better…didn’t I?

Had society imprisoned me with its rules and predetermined notions of what it thought was right for me? Had the universe decided what I should be when I grow up? Or has it been me who has held myself back with my fear of being spotted and standing out? Had I held myself back because it was easier to come in second? You don’t have the same pressure to perform when you come in last. No one is watching you, no one is waiting for you to fail. WAIT… No one has to hold you down when your own internal thoughts are doing it.

If that is, in fact, the case, then your mind is the prison guard, and your heart is the one who holds the key to its release. If you’re the one holding yourself down and you’re the one keeping yourself from living in your purpose, then you have the power to change. We know happiness doesn’t come from the things we own or the car we drive. It comes from living in your purpose and living a life that pushes you to your fullest potential.

Finally, my goal for you in writing this blog is that it should do three things. It should make you think. The blog will make you see that you have the power to change your priorities. It can show you that you control your thoughts. You can stop measuring yourself up to everyone else’s standards anytime you want to. Make today the first day you choose to be happy and to life live by your own design.

Today’s Hidden Treasure Moment is that we control our thoughts and how we perceive and react to a situation. If you want more… know that you can have more… and take the steps to get more.

I hope that by reading my blog you found another reason to love yourself and others. If you would like more, you can purchase my book for a special discounted price at As an added bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

Until we meet again…

Are You Living an Empowered or Imprisoned Life? Read More »

10 Steps To True Change and Transformation

Change and transformation is much easier said than done. It’s easy to change something about yourself for a short while, for a day or two but to change who you are or how you see yourself is a much harder proposition. Think about who you are today what changes you know deep down that you need to make to be a happy healthier person. In this blog  about change and transformation you will be given a short list of tools that can help you start the journey to being the you that you have always wanted to be.  

Here are ten action steps for continued, lasting change and transformational growth.

  1. Reflect. Look at your life, situation or circumstance today. Take time to see the lessons in your journey and then move on to greater heights.
  2. Accept yourself and love yourself. Live for today. Your life is happing right now, this is who and how you are. Decide that you love yourself no matter what.
  3. Take Ownership. Be honest with yourself and take responsibility for all that you are doing and not doing (good and bad), and the effects your actions have on others and yourself (good and bad).
  4. Identify Areas of Opportunity. What are you doing that is not serving your greater good? What steps could you take today to change that?
  5. Make a Decision. Make the decision to do the work and to make the change(s) you’ve listed. Draw up a contract or agreement so you can hold yourself accountable for reaching your goals.
  6. Learn, Copy, Keep, and Repeat. Learn about the change that you want to make. Copy the behaviors of people that you admire, keep the behaviors that feel good to your soul, and discard any that don’t. Repeat the change until it becomes second nature
  7. Create a Plan to Meet Your Goals. Measure your outcomes to stay on track. Goals are not written in stone. Review them daily and make adjustments as you go. Reward yourself for achieving milestones that bring you closer to your goal. Don’t wait for the finish line to celebrate your achievements.
  8. Do it, Achieve It, and Be It. Take daily actionable steps toward your goals. Recognize behaviors that support you, make a note, and discontinue any actions that are counterproductive.
  9. Forgive Yourself. Change does not happen overnight. It takes at least twenty-one days to change a habit, so be patient and kind to yourself during your transformation. Forgive yourself when you have setbacks and move forward. Show yourself magnificent self-love every day and reward yourself for even the smallest of accomplishments.
  10. Reflect Again. Make note of where you started and how far you have come. Do this every few hours, every few days, or every month… whatever supports your journey.

Qutoe of the day

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences and failing to achieve anything useful.

~ Margaret J. Wheatley

My hope is that you found another reason to love yourself and others. If you would like more you can purchase my book for a special discounted price at Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, as an added bonus I have included a link to my FREE happiness survey

Please leave your questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

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GEMs Are Made to Be Polished

When you work hard you should reward yourself. The Polish & Shine phase can be found in my book Hidden Treasure and it is the last step of my 5 Steps to Transformational Self-Love journey. It is how you practice the art of magnificent self-love. It’s the actions you take daily to remind yourself that you are a treasure meant to be loved and cherished. This is the phase that you recognize the events that have happened to you in the past and see them as GEMs. That have made you into who you are today Glorious, Empowered and Magnificent. This is where you shine and become radiant. You learn to love the person you are and stop worrying about who others think you should be.

Example from My Life:

I had to learn to love myself in my cancer recovery and recognize that it was okay to be taken care of. I gave myself permission to be “selfish,” and in doing that I gave myself permission to heal, to be quiet, and to be loved. I made a commitment to get my hair done and polish my nails once a week. I decided that I didn’t have to go to every event that my son or husband were involved in. I gave myself permission to be “missed,” and it gave my family the space to appreciate me more when I was there. When I took time to honor myself it filled me with an abundance of love that I could share with others. It allowed me to be more available to my family because I had taken the time to tend to my own needs. Self-love showed me that my life was worth saving and it gave me a hunger to share my lessons with other women—with you—so they won’t have to experience the same extraordinary challenges to learn what I had.

I listened to His whispers and decided to no longer live in the shadows not allowing my brilliance to come through. It’s my life’s mission to speak love, joy, and possibility into the lives of women all over the world. I realized that this is what all of the lessons were for. They were all for…you.

Your Turn… Go Deep:

  1. Think back on the things you have done for yourself that have made you feel loved.
  2. List the things that cost you the least money and made you feel the best.
  3. Circle the ones that you can do daily, draw a square around the ones that you can do monthly, and put a star by the ones that you must do before you die.
  4. Imagine how you would feel if you started with the one you starred first. Now, write that feeling down.
  5. Review your list and give yourself permission the complete at least one item today and make a plan on how you will add to it every week.

We all have healing to do after the cutting. Take time to yourself, mediate and heal your soul. Our tendency is to go back to what was comfortable and into who our family always knew us to be. But dare to be the truest version of yourself, show off the person who you have been hiding this entire time and show your family how to love and appreciate the GEM that has always been within.

To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.

~ Alan Cohen

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